Dap the Cat
❝ It's like magic, but its always been a smoke and mirrors game ❞
i'm Kolzar/Dapbuns/Shi and sometimes I draw stuff. But here i just reblog shit and talk about how much i suck
so I kind of miss talking with everyone on skype

like, everyday or everynight

it’s like, everytime I look into a new post about one of my friends ocs and they obviously don’t have the full story and I’m just sitting there thinking hey I could’ve been there I could be talking to them right now to tell them how fucking interested I am in their stuff and that I feel bad for not talking to them all the time because I love them

cause honestly sometimes it’s too late and I’m about to sleep, or sometimes I don’t wanna bother them even though I’m really curious. And it’s at that point that I realize it must be more than a month that I don’t talk about ANY of anyone’s characters because I’ve had the shittiest mood swings so I’ve been kind of bad 24 hours a day except for those moments where I’ve lied to everyone ‘I’m fine’ for so long that I manage to deceive myself for a while. I also procceed to notice how I apparently don’t have time for anything and when I do, I make me feel guilty for not studying a hell lot.

And only then I notice this is all pointless because I’m kind of the king of optimism and self-appreciation, consequently it’s not like I completely hate myself and think that I’m too annoying and surely it doesn’t mean I’m past convincing myself that everyone online is waaay better off without me being a pest. Heh.

But seriously guys when I get time again I’ll try to draw something for each person to show I haven’t really forgotten them or their beautiful stories and characters. Although I’m pretty sure everyone’s already forgotten me hahaha I’m dumb

seriously you shouldn’t have read that much and I should’t have even posted this. Also I’m glad I have no access to drugs or tall bridges or guns whasoever

  1. shitota posted this