no matter how insistently i looked for one of these, i couldn’t fine any one piece sorter anywhere. so i made one myself! i literally died a hundred times while cropping icons and editing the script but i managed to finish it yesterday, and i thought i could share it with you…
i-cant-believe-its-not-crepes said: UGGGGHHHHHH that sounds like one of the most disgusting movies EVER!! I’m so sorry that you had to watch it. It just sounds horrible in every way. Just HEARING about it makes me mad!
someone actually sat down and made this film and threw money in it and people actually went to watch it on theaters thats probably the worst crime of all
i-cant-believe-its-not-crepes said: Goddamn, that sounds like an absolutely horrible, terrible movie in every way!! I’m sorry you had to sit through it. Geez, it sounds so bad. :I
and the worst thing is after searching around there’s people saying good things about it holy fuck
like the only good thing i guess would be that some of the shots look kinda cool and thats it. the soundtrack is shit with people doing the ‘sinister moan’ and the sound of metal banging on another piece of metal, the flashbacks suck and refer back to something you saw/heard FIVE minutes earlier
also theres this thing where before someone dies the fan in their room starts spinning anti-clockwise??? its really dumb and goes unexplained like theres no reason… you could say it references that thing that spins when the elevator is going down (aka the character goes to hell get it because thats such a new, creative analogy) but its’s so out there and its not a cool analogy AT ALL
another dumb analogy? lucifer (and the character doesnt know he’s lucifer yet because hes really fucking stupid) says that some ppl say the egg represents the soul and then„„ he eats the fucking egg. wow, subtle
and the main character says he ‘doesnt like chickens’ but its not even a real phobia or anything, and they never explain why. im guessing that since they stablished the egg is the soul and chickens shit eggs„, chickens are god? and so he’s slightly disgusted by god, wow, also hes atheist, wow, and he swears in a church at some point, wow, and then when he sees voodoo practice he slams it down as some ungodly thing even though he clearly states hes an atheist„ im„,
also the main character’s name is ‘harold angel’ and the films called angel’s heart „„ and he’s actually called ‘mr angel’ by other people. and he’s an excessive creep! Whenever he’s around old men he touches them too much, he flirts on almost every single woman that shows on screen. im not kidding, almost every single one thats white and remotely good-looking.; he goes around questioning and abusing people who owe him nothing and he’s not even a cop, and yet threatens people with anything he can find within range and the devil doesnt do ANYTHING AT ALL! he does shit because he thinks he’s entitled to, makes people uncomfortable, grabs their stuff without their permission, stalks and doesnt care about anyone’s deaths
im serious when he finds the first dead person, an old man he locked inside a room for NO REASON, he isnt shocked by the fact he was shot in the fucking EYE, no no no, he looks at the stuff in the scene of the crime, grabs what he wants, cleans the places he’s touched with a napkin and DOESNT CALL THE FUCKING POLICE. and then we’re supposed to be shocked when it turns out hes the one who killed them?
i-cant-believe-its-not-crepes said: What the heck is that movie even about?? I’ve never heard of it.
well i hadnt heard of it till today too! its about a private detective who’s a womanizer asshole and he gets this job with a client called LoUis CYPHER and has to find a guy that disappeared and owns him shit so he partakes on a long, long , lon g ,longgg search where he goes up to black people and talks to them like a pretentious asshole and right after he talks to them they’re found dead
seriously just him talking to people in the most obnouxious of ways and finding them dead and doing absolutely nothing about it takes up 1 hour and 15 minutes of the movie im not even exaggerating its boring as shit
also, im not sure if its because of my copy but its so awful id like to think thats what actually happened „ the sound wasnt synched with the video, so the ‘scary’ sound effects played before the ‘scary’ thing was shown and it was really fucking stupid
basically in the end theres some shit about satanists who made a pact with the robert de niro devil and tried to walk out of it sacrificing another soul and GASP its ouR HERO??? OUR HERO IS ACTUA- ACTUALLY SOMEONE ELSE BEING PLAYED AROUND BY THE DEVIL AND FORCED TO KILL PPL FOR NO REASON EXCEPT IT WAS REALLY OBVIOUS ALL ALONG?? AND EVEN THOUGH THERE WAS CLEAR CRIME EVIDENCE THE COPS NEEEVER TAKE HIM TO QUESTIONING?
and in the end spoilers he goes to hell as if nobody was expecting that after watching this awful film (we dont see him get brutally murdered tho im so angry)
also this film is racist as shit? it portrays afro-american communities and voodoo so poorly and negatively strictly from a white christian american point of view: sinful, devilish, gorey and overly vulgar„ and there’s this one sex scene that starts out as pedophilic, turns into a rape scene (he kills her by„, raping her?? i dont want to know how that works) and in the end its also incest because he was her disgusting father„ mother of satan its awfully forced
they use the n-word in this flick to apparently establish a guy as an antagonist but in the end he’s not? so apparently the film thinks its ok to call black ppl with the n-word and talk down to ppl that had sex with them? this is fucking disgusting
ok i gotta stop before i actually end up rotting away because of this film